Why is the divorce rate so high?

Ok, so this is a topic I've been wanting to address for a long time and it's probably going to be an on-going topic, which we'll just have to develop over time. So, for those of you that don't know...the way I even came up with AskEachOther.com in the first place is I used to own another website called GuysforDummies.com, which later became Dating4Dummies - let's just say I've had an unexplainable interest and curiosity in relationships for quite some time.

Sooooo, the question is...why is the divorce rate so high? I've heard a lot of theories and opinions, so I'll just throw some things out there...

First and foremost, it's not like it used to be (stating the obvious). It used to be that people would work at the same company and live in the same neighborhood almost all of their lives. It used to be that little Johnny would pull little Becky's pigtails for years...and that one day years later, teenage Becky would look at teenage Johnny and something would be different...and they would become high school sweethearts and be married probably no more than 6 years later.

You see, I don't think these types of things happened because teenage Becky wanted to end up with the "bad boy" or even the boy that picked on her. And in fact it might not have even been teenage Johnny who she ended up with at all - she could have fallen for little Tommy (who also lived on the same block). I think the important thing to realize and question here is that back then (back when the divorce rate wasn't so high) it was much easier to know someone, I mean really know someone.

You grow up on the same street, go to all the same birthday parties, go to the same church, school, clubs, etc - well to me, that's the fabric of the word "unconditional". The fact that no one, as a kid, was assuming or even thinking about the fact that they could one day marry one of their neighbors. Not only that, but because they weren't thinking that, they also probably weren't trying to be anyone other than themselves, pig-tail assaulting and all. And when it came time to have googily eyes for someone - well teenage Becky already knew all teenage Johnny's dirt - cause after all they probably grew up on the same street...and once you know someone's dirt who knows, maybe it's easier to see and fall for their good qualities. I think to truly see the essence of someone, you have to see them for all that they...bad qualities too.

Unfortunately for this generation, technology is booming. Hardly no one, unless you're in a smaller town or city, grows up on the same street all of their lives any more. I've heard a few times that work is the place where most people "meet" and fall in love and that made sense to me because it's the place where you spend most of your time - especially crazy, work-a-holic Americans. And the interesting thing is, when ya think about it - work is not so different from that idea of growing up on the same street. You see each other ALL the time and you're not thinking you're gonna fall for the co-worker who threw you under the bus at the staff meeting last week when it was really their fault that the monthly reports weren't in on time. You're not putting on your best face when you've already worked an 8-hour day and are planning to do your usual 4 more hours over-time. And you're not putting up your guard one evening when that hated co-worker finally does something nice that makes you look at them in a different way.

So anyway, let me break here and say that from this, maybe we can draw some possible voting options to start with. Feel free to add comments or suggestions and I will gladly edit or re-add a newly updated poll/question! Add comments at the bottom of this page - http://www.askeachother.com/q/Why-Is-The-Divorce-Rate-So-High

Options

- Technology - it's changed everything by making the world smaller and overloading us with options...and our social values, morals and habits just haven't quite caught up. This makes it easier to divorce, easier to give up on a relationship when things get hard - because most people know "Heck, there are plenty more singles in town...and if I don't find someone here - heck, I can just date someone 1,000 miles away and pick up some more frequent flier miles."

- Desensitization - it used to be that the word "divorce" was only spoken in quiet, dark places, uttered by those who feared the divorcee would overhear in shame. Now days, it's a walk in the park, an after-thought and sometimes even what's expected.

- Getting Married Too Young - I don't think this one needs explaining. According to DivorceRate.org people between the ages of 20 and 24 get divorced at the highest percentage; an alarming 37% average divorce rate, with men being 2 full percent higher. Do I even need to say this...not only is he probably just not that into you...but he probably isn't ready for that level of a commitment at that age anyway...and neither are you...36% of you at least.

In addition to this, the divorce rate could partially be blamed on all those people who get married and divorced again...buuuuuut, that's a whole other article.

According to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.
50% percent of first marriages,
67% of second and
74% of third marriages end in divorce

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
41% percent of first marriages,
60% of second and
73% of third marriages end in divorce

- Women Are More Independent - I don't know what to call this one exactly, but I've heard theories that say there were just as many marriages that didn't work 30 years ago, only back then it wasn't socially as common for women to actually leave their husbands, whether it be due to societal expectations or the fact that women just didn't work as much back then (as many were stay at home mothers). These days things are very different. Not only can women leave an unhappy marriage or cheating husband, but the flip-side is that they might even be the ones who have to pay alimony.

- Values - or lack thereof. In a lot of way this one sort of encompasses a couple, if not all of the above. So I won't even bother going into detail.

ps - I won't leave an "Other" option so that you can just put it in the Comments. This will allow people to at least see what the most agreed on option is amongst these choices until we release an updated follow-up question and article. Just click on the Title of the poll question below and you'll see a Comments section at the bottom:

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